Saturday, May 1, 2010


We've been back in the states for a week now. I was definitely in a fog for the first few days - a physical fog - a mental fog - and definitely an emotional fog.

Jet-lag for sure. I woke up Sunday am at 4:30 am and then had a hamburger for 'breakfast' at 9:30 am! ha!!

I didn't cry when we left Zoe - or Ghana. We left her without big goodbyes as if we would see her again the next day. I am so confident in her foster Daddy and where she is living. Intellectually, I knew she was going to be fine. She wasn't planning on anything different at age 2 anyways, right?

But Sunday morning. Sunday morning, I fell apart. The reality of the past 2 weeks -the cultural shock of a new country - meeting my daughter - a crazy bus ride or 2 - meeting a birth family - fatigue - all came crashing down with the first note of the worship song on Sunday morning. So wonderful to be bathed in God's grace and to thank Him for such an adventure in life.

I don't want to sit on a pew and be still. I want to dance and shout. I want to swim in the rushing River of Life. I want to feel His current and enjoy the ride. And then I want to rest in His love and grace and mercy.

This week we have rested. I found myself slightly withdrawn this week simply in processing all that we have experienced. I continue to ask the Lord to reveal Himself to me through my experiences in Africa and my re-entry into America.

I miss my baby girl more than I expected. I know that sounds crazy. I should've expected to miss her, right? But my arms ache for the baby I carried constantly while there! I wonder what she is laughing at today. What is she eating? What made her mad today?

We have some sweet pictures that we received recently of her laughing with all of the young foster kids in her home. Makes my heart smile.

Can't wait to bring her home with us.
Love to all -